Dear Universe...

Please give me the strength and the wherewithal to finish my papers on time, in peace.

Please let me pass this semester. I'm serious.

Please let me pass this semester without turning into a horrible person.

Give me the strength to resist those damn Magnum ice cream bars, at least until Easter.

Please take away my caffeine sensitivity so I can finally start enjoying real milk tea, instead of searching high and low for a place that serves plain taro milk.


Please let the Miami Heat lose more games, so they can get rid of LeBron and I can start liking Erik Spoelstra again. (But not in that way, oh no.)

Please let the San Francisco Giants win more games, so I can still root for Tim Lincecum to shut down more pitchers on the field.

Please let Roger Federer win more tournaments, so I won't have to root for Novak Djokovic whenever he drops out. (Also because I don't have Marat Safin to look at anymore.) And in the event that the Fed retires, please give us someone worth rooting for, who has his grace and charisma without being, you know, Nole. Or Rafa.

Please let Matt Damon come back for another Bourne movie.

In the event that the powers-that-be decide to make a sequel to Avengers, or even a spin-off, please let Norman Reedus play Hawkeye. Sure, he'd be an older and incredibly pissed-off Hawkeye, but let's face it, the man does carry a mean crossbow. Just imagine how he might look like in black leather.

Please let those last two wishes come true, so that my lovely JR can finally take a well-deserved (and, frankly, very much-needed) nap. Preferably with me, in Kauai, on a bed with fine cotton sheets.

Please remind my friends - or even myself - that Twitter wars are not worth the effort. Especially if the person they're warring with is either 1) a stranger or 2) someone who's too smart to be challenged, even in real life. 

Grant me the serenity to... well, the serenity to stop being such a damn bitch to people. That's all.

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